The 4 Biggest Mindset Mistakes That Keep You Trapped in the Binge-Restrict Cycle
If you struggle with binge eating, bulimia, or restrictive eating patterns, you’ve likely experienced certain negative thought patterns that drive your behaviours. These automatic, unhelpful thinking styles, also called cognitive distortions, shape how we see ourselves, food, and our bodies.
Many people with eating disorders fall into rigid, extreme, or fear-driven ways of thinking that reinforce the cycle of restriction, bingeing, and guilt. But you don’t have to be stuck forever. The good news is that once you recognise these patterns, you can challenge them and start changing your relationship with food and your body.
Here are four of the most common unhelpful thinking styles that fuel eating disorders and how to break free.
1. All-or-Nothing Thinking (Black-and-White Thinking)
This is one of the most common cognitive distortions in eating disorders (and one I struggled with for a long time). It’s the belief that things are either completely "good" or "bad," with no in-between or grey area.
💭 Examples:
“I ate something unhealthy, so I’ve completely ruined my diet.”
“If I don’t exercise every day, I’m lazy and failing.”
“Eating junk food will make me gain weight.”
🚨 How It Leads to Disordered Eating:
All-or-nothing thinking often drives the binge-restrict cycle. A small perceived mistake (like eating a cookie) feels like complete failure, leading to an "I already messed up, so I might as well keep eating" mentality. This can trigger binge episodes, which then lead to guilt and another attempt at strict dieting, yet again, perpetuating the cycle, over and over again.
✅ How to Challenge It:
Practice finding the middle ground—instead of “bad” or “good” foods, remind yourself that all foods can fit in a balanced diet. Neutralise all foods and remove the morals that we have attached to food as a result of culture, society and childhood (see my blog on how to challenge food rules to find this middle ground) .
Challenge absolutes—if you find yourself thinking “always” or “never”, try replacing them with “sometimes, but not all of the time”.
Remind yourself: Progress, not perfection. Recovery is about creating more psychological flexibility, which will help you become more adaptable and resilient to life’s challenges. Remember, these rigid rules and black-and-white thinking are actually keeping you stuck in the binge-purge-restrict cycle.
2. Jumping to Conclusions (Mind Reading & Fortune Telling)
Have you ever felt like people are judging what you eat; or do you feel uncomfortable eating in front of others? It is possible that you are doing some sort of mind-reading. This happens when you assume you know what others are thinking or predict the future without real evidence. Read on to find out how we can break this type of unhelpful thinking style. But first, here are some common traps I have discovered in my experience as an Eating Disorder Coach.
💭 Examples:
“People are judging me for eating this.”
“If I gain weight, people will notice and then they won’t like me.”
“People will question why I didn’t eat that dessert, but if I do eat it, they will think that is why I am fat.”
🚨 How It Leads to Disordered Eating:
These unhelpful thinking styles often reinforce the belief that we need to look a certain way to be accepted, fueling negative body image and self-doubt. They can cause us to change how we eat in front of others—appearing “in control”—only to lose control and binge in private. This cycle feeds the secrecy and shame that often surrounds eating disorders. When we're caught in this mindset, true food freedom feels out of reach. But once we begin to notice and challenge these patterns, we create space to be more present, aligned with our values, and connected to what really matters.
✅ How to Challenge It:
Ask yourself: “What evidence do I have for this thought?”
Reframe your thinking: Instead of “People are judging me,” try “I have no proof of this—people are probably focused on their own meal.”
Accept uncertainty: We can’t predict the future, but we can control how we treat ourselves and the choices we make today.
3. Maximising & Minimising (Distorting the Importance of Things)
This thinking pattern exaggerates perceived negatives, failures and where we have fallen short, while downplaying positives, mini wins and the progress we have made.
💭 Examples:
“I ate too much today, this has completely ruined all of my hard work.” (Maximising)
“I was able to eat regularly all week and not binge, but that was only one week and I still have a long way to go .” (Minimising)
“Losing weight is the only thing that matters. Nothing else I do is important.” (Maximising weight loss, minimising other achievements)
🚨 How It Leads to Disordered Eating:
When we overlook the small wins in recovery, it’s easy to feel discouraged, defeated, and not good enough—making it more tempting to give in to the eating disorder. We lose perspective on the bigger picture, which often includes ups and downs along the way. But if the overall direction is moving toward fewer binge, purge, or restrict episodes—meaning the frequency and intensity of the cycle is decreasing—that’s meaningful progress toward food freedom. On the flip side, when we view small slip-ups as total failures, we’re more likely to feel overwhelmed and give up altogether, increasing the risk of relapse as a way to manage those uncomfortable emotions.
✅ How to Challenge It:
Take a step back: Ask yourself, “If a friend made this mistake, would I react this harshly?”
Keep a balanced perspective—one meal or one day doesn’t define your entire journey.
Write down and celebrate ALL progress and mini-wins—your strength, your kindness, your achievements outside of food and weight.
4. Should Statements (“I Should…” “I Must…”)
The “should” and “must” thinking style is a common unhelpful cognitive distortion often seen in people with eating disorders. It involves placing rigid, unrealistic expectations on yourself, like “I should eat clean and stick to my meal plan” or “I must exercise every day or I’ve failed.” These kinds of statements create unrealistic and unsustainable internal pressure, making it feel you have to control every part of your food intake to lose weight. However, when you don’t meet these unrealistic expectations, it often leads to shame, self-criticism, and compensatory behaviours like restriction, bingeing, or purging. You might be stuck in this thinking pattern if your self-talk is filled with words like “should,” “shouldn’t”, “must,” “have to,” or “can’t.” Here are some common thought patterns:
💭 Examples:
“I should’t eat carbs.”
“I must always control and balance my meals.”
“I should have more willpower.”
🚨 How It Leads to Disordered Eating:
These statements create extreme pressure and unrealistic rules on yourself, leading to an obsession and preoccupation with food. It is only a matter of time that these high expectations aren’t met, triggering a sense of failure, which fuels compensatory behaviours like restricting, purging, or excessive exercise.
✅ How to Challenge It:
Start by gently questioning them—ask yourself, Is this rule truly helpful or kind? Where did it come from? What would I say to a friend in this situation?
Ask yourself: “Is this rule realistic or flexible?” Eating should be nourishing and sustainable, not restrictive.
Remind yourself: You don’t have to be perfect with food to be worthy, healthy, or happy.
Breaking Free from Unhelpful Thinking & Healing Your Relationship with Food
These thought patterns don’t develop overnight, and they won’t disappear instantly—but with awareness and practice, you can rewire your inner dialogue and break free from disordered eating.
If you’re struggling with binge eating, bulimia, or restrictive eating patterns, you don’t have to do it alone. As an eating disorder coach, I use CBT, ACT, and DBT-based strategies to help clients retrain their thinking, develop a healthier relationship with food, and stop the binge-restrict cycle for good.
👉 Need support? I have openings for 1:1 coaching—get in touch today and take the first step toward food freedom!
