Why do I Binge and How Do I Stop?
If you’ve ever found yourself standing in front of the fridge, eating past the point of fullness, or feeling completely powerless when faced with certain foods, you’re not alone. Many people struggling with binge eating or bulimia describe feeling as though food controls them, rather than the other way around. So why does this happen? And more importantly—what can you do about it?
Understanding the Cycle of Binge Eating
Binge eating and bulimia often follow a predictable cycle:
Restriction
You try to control your eating by cutting out certain foods, reducing portions, or skipping meals. This is often fuelled by underlying beliefs around body image and looking a certain way, e.g. “I need to be skinny to be accepted”.
Deprivation & Cravings
Your body and brain respond to restriction by increasing cravings and thoughts about food. This is a built-in protective mechanism to keep you alive. These mechanisms are tightly controlled and regulated by hormones and given enough time, it will inevitably override your ability to exert your willpower to restrict food.
Loss of Control & Bingeing
Eventually, willpower breaks, leading to an episode of eating large quantities of food in a short time. We tend to eat faster during a binge and seek foods that give us an immediate hit of energy and dopamine. Typical (but not always) binge foods include chips, chocolate, biscuits, ice cream, baked goods and takeaways - or foods that we label as “bad”, “binge foods” or “forbidden foods”.
Guilt & Shame
The binge is often followed by overwhelming guilt, shame, and sometimes compensatory behaviours like purging or excessive exercise. This reinforces the underlying core beliefs of “I’m not good enough”, “I need to restrict more”, and we enforce more strict dietary rules to follow by cutting out more foods, skipping meals or reducing our calorie intake yet again.
The Cycle Repeats – In an attempt to “fix” the binge, restriction starts again, fuelling the next binge episode.
Why Do I Keep Losing Control?
There are several reasons why food can feel overwhelming and uncontrollable:
Your Body Is Trying to Protect You
Binge eating is often a natural biological response to restriction. When the body perceives a shortage of food, it ramps up hunger hormones and cravings to encourage eating. This is why strict dieting or skipping meals often leads to intense binge urges.
Emotional Regulation
Many people with binge eating disorder or bulimia use food to cope with stress, trauma, avoidance of tasks or difficult emotions. Food can provide temporary comfort, numb pain, or distract from overwhelming thoughts and feelings. If food has become a primary way to regulate emotions, it makes sense that cravings feel uncontrollable.
Dieting & Food Rules
If you have a long history of dieting, certain foods may feel “off-limits” or forbidden. This increases the psychological pull towards those foods. The moment you allow yourself to eat them, the brain signals, “Better get as much as I can now before it’s taken away again.” This is also known as the “all-or-nothing” thinking style.
Neurobiology & Habit Loops
Repetitive binge eating strengthens neural pathways in the brain, making it a conditioned response to certain triggers (stress, boredom, loneliness). The more often this cycle happens, the more automatic the binge response becomes; in other words, what wires together fires together. Binge eating then becomes an over-learned behaviour, crowding our ability to learn more effective coping skills that are aligned with our values.
How to Break Free from Feeling Out of Control
If this cycle sounds familiar, the good news is that recovery is absolutely possible. Here are some steps to start regaining control over your relationship with food:
Eat Regularly & Consistently
A key step in reducing binge episodes is ensuring you’re eating enough throughout the day. Aim for balanced meals and snacks every 3-4 hours to prevent extreme hunger and cravings. If you binge predominantly in the evenings, aim to have more of your food intake during the day, e.g. 30% for breakfast and 40% at lunch as a general guide. It’s okay to start your safe foods first, as long as you are eating regularly. Overtime, as you develop this new habit, you may want to start introducing more risky or fear foods in a safe way.
Challenge Food Rules & Restrictions
Instead of labelling foods as “good” or “bad,” work towards neutralising all foods. Allowing yourself permission to eat all types of food reduces the “forbidden fruit” effect that fuels bingeing. Set some time aside to look at what food rules have formed over the years, e.g. don’t snack, carbs are bad, treat foods are only for weekends. Be curious and challenge these rules by asking curious questions, like where did this rule come from, does this rule apply to everyone else, would I tell anyone else to follow this rule and is this rule based on fact or fear? Then come up with a more balanced and flexible rule that is more aligned with your recovery goals.
Identify Emotional Triggers
Start noticing patterns; are you more likely to binge when you’re stressed, lonely, or anxious? You may want to keep a diary card for a few days (food intake, thoughts, feelings, circumstances, etc) to help you identify these patterns. Once you identify emotional triggers, explore alternative coping strategies that will give you what you were searching for when you had the urge to binge, such as journaling, movement, or mindfulness and self-care practices.
Practice Self-Compassion
Shame and guilt often keep the binge cycle going. Instead of beating yourself up after an episode, try treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. View it as a learning opportunity for next time. Review and reflect on what happened before the relapse and come up with a relapse prevention plan. Remember, recovery isn’t about perfection - it’s about progress.
Seek Professional Support
Overcoming binge eating or bulimia can feel overwhelming on your own. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; in fact, I believe it takes more strength and courage to ask for help, than staying stuck in the cycle. Evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) can be incredibly effective in changing behaviours and improving emotional regulation. If you’re ready to work towards food freedom, I offer specialised support for eating disorders and can help you develop personalised strategies for recovery.
You’re not alone in this. If food feels like it has power over you, know that you are not broken - and you don’t have to live in this cycle forever. With the right tools and support, you can rebuild trust with yourself and food.
Looking for support? I provide 1:1 coaching sessions designed to help you regain control, stop binge eating, and heal your relationship with food.
Get in touch today to learn more!
